December 08, 2005
|
Holiday ad roundup
|
19978 hit(s)
It's time once again for our nearly annual holiday ad roundup, in which we keep our ears open for the crassest ad, or the lamest ad, or the one most obviously crafted for commercial exploitation of the season. In years past, for example, here locally we had Porcello Jewelers (Latin for "pig-weasels") who were trying to get you to sell them the family heirloom jewelry and blow the proceeds on a ski vacation, or a company ("All About Grout," I kid you nout) that suggested that the success of your holiday entertaining might be compromised by the state of the grout in your bathroom, a problem they stood ready to remedy (said ad being notable for both the lameness of the premise and the truly awful quality of the "actors," quotes deliberate[1]). Or Budweiser, which brands itself "an American Holiday Tradition," and one can only imagine the kind of tradition suggested by a 12-pack of cheap cold ones. Or my very favorite, that classic for a merchant whose name I was careful not to remember: "The holidays are all about getting what you want!"
To start us off, I can nominate three ads I've heard in the last 24 hours alone:- Germanfoods.org promises to hook you up with a local grocery store that sells foods guaranteed to be made in Teutonia. Bonus points for reminding you to look at the label to be sure that your selection is authentically Deutsch. I am stunned to think how long I have lived without this service.
- The folks at Rolex, who do have to make some effort to reassure you that their product is worth, oh, 200 times the price of a Timex, promise that one of their timepieces (whatever happened to the word "watch"?) will provide "the spirit of the holidays for years to come." And credit card debt for years to come, they did not add.
- My current favorite, however, is for Macy's, which features a woman (naturally) who scorns the notion of choosing gift recipients by picking them out of a hat: "I refuse to be deprived of my annual shopping-palooza!" No comment needed, I suppose, other than I am incidentally interested in the propagation of the "-palooza" suffix. (#)
So. The floor is now open ...
|
