mike's web log/quotes

advice advice computers editing education funny general language laws music politics reading religion science sports technology working writing (all)

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I don't need time. What I need is a deadline.
— Duke Ellington general | funny | advice

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different.
— Kurt Vonnegut general | advice

Most people are scared to be free. They want someone else to tell them how to be free.
— Cornel West general | advice

Getting lost can do wonders in helping one figure out how things actually work.
— Jenny Berger education | general | advice

Here's a piece of advice: if someone proposes a grammatical principle that is violated by the titles of two or more classic novels or stories, you should think twice before paying them money for further advice on grammar and usage.
— Mark Liberman language | advice

Of course, the real problem with software development is the users. It's unbelievable. They've caused problems with every program I've ever written.
— Jeff Atwood computers | advice

When doing botanical work in South America, steer clear of the monkeys: They will throw sticks at you with surprising accuracy.
— Botanist, Tricks of the Trade general | advice

Women can actually love us for ourselves, bless their hearts, even when we can't love ourselves.
— Roger Ebert general | advice

Ask yourself frequently, "Am I having fun?" The answer needn't always be yes. But if it's always no, it's time for a new project or a new career.
— Stephen King writing | advice

Using the word accident tends to make people think safety is a matter of luck, and it isn't.
— Motorcycle Safety Foundation general | advice

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
— Hanlon's Razor general | advice | laws

Deeply held beliefs of any kind prevent you from being open to experience, which is why I find all firmly held ideological positions questionable. [...] One of the signs of a damaged ego is absolute certainty.
— Milton Glaser general | advice | religion | politics

If all the procrastinator had left to do was to sharpen some pencils, no force on earth could get him to do it. However, the procrastinator can be motivated to do difficult, timely and important tasks, as long as these tasks are a way of not doing something more important.
— John Perry general | funny | advice

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you think, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
— Douglas Hofstadter general | advice | laws

goodnight you cats
Now is the time for all good cats to go to sleep
there are things to do tomorrow
And you can do them then
but now its time to sleep
and you can dream
— martha the cat writing | general | advice

The inconvenience of office moves brought me to a realization. When you're young, you want to have as much stuff as possible. "The kid who dies with the most toys wins." As you grow older, you realize that material goods are a burden and you try to get rid of them in order to simplify your life.
— Raymond Chen general | advice

A man may write at any time, if he will set himself doggedly to it.
— Samuel Johnson writing | advice

Sure, anger has its bright moments—you haven't really lived until you've known that special joy of hurling a chair across the room—but it's also quite time-consuming.
— Aaron Swartz general | advice

If it's crap, just change it.
— Testy Copy Editors writing | editing | advice

One of the best ways to get to know someone is to look at their bookshelf.
— Kathy Sierra general | advice

Stress is directly proportional to the delta between who you are and who you are projecting to be.
— Jnan Dash general | advice

The time-tested way to overcome language problems - the approach I used to learn French in the first place - is of course to find a volatile girlfriend who is fluent in the language. There is nothing like hysterical weeping over the phone at 3 a.m. to really flex your listening comprehension.
— Maciej Ceglowski language | funny | advice

If you don't know whether you're a bad manager, then you're a bad manager. It's the default state, the start-state, for managers everywhere. So just assume you're bad, and start working to get better at it.
— Steve Yegge general | advice

A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity.
— Eleanor Roosevelt general | advice

The real reason I want to go to a University—and the reason, when you get right down to it, everybody else seems to be interested in as well—is the people. I want to go to a place filled with people like me, but smarter; a place where you can't help but learn.
— Aaron Swartz general | advice | education

To be unacquainted with what has passed in the world, before we came into it ourselves, is to be always children.
— Cicero general | advice

It is characteristic of all deep human problems that they are not to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment.
— Freeman Dyson general | advice

There is nothing which can better deserve your patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness.
— George Washington general | advice | politics | education

Making mistakes is inevitable, but repeating the same ones over and over doesn't have to be. You should endeavor to make all-new, spectacular, never-seen-before mistakes.
— Jeff Atwood computers | advice

Making it easy to do good stuff is obviously goodness; thinking about how to make it hard to do bad is actually more important.
— Eric Lippert computers | advice

Why don't you go read about it and write a blog entry summarizing what you've learned?
— Raymond Chen writing | advice

If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.
— Charles Kettering general | advice

I learned that you cannot follow the entire Bible. It's impossible. You must pick and choose. Everyone does it, whether they admit it or not. Otherwise, we'd end up stoning adulterers on the street. Some call this "cafeteria religion," and it's meant as a disparaging phrase. But I say: There is nothing wrong with cafeterias! I've had some great meals at cafeterias. The key is to choose the right dishes—the ones about compassion and tolerance, and leave the ones about hatred and intolerance on the side.
— AJ Jacobs religion | advice

I'm happy to explain that you can still be a freak and a gainfully employed grown-up.
— Jillian Venters general | advice

Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time ... The wait is simply too long.
— Leonard Bernstein writing | advice

"Does this break a rule?" is the first question and "Does it work?" is the second question. If "Does it work" outweighs "Does it break a rule," then it's OK to break the rule.
— Merrill Perlman writing | editing | advice

Be not too hasty to trust or admire the teachers of morality; they discourse like angels but they live like men.
— Samuel Johnson general | advice

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
— Gretchen Rubin general | advice

You don't have to be good at everything.
— Gretchen Rubin general | advice

Learn to fail with pride—and do so fast and cleanly. Maximise trial and error—by mastering the error part.
— Nassim Nicholas Taleb general | advice

I've shaken things up with a redhead. I learned my lesson.
— "Don Draper" general | advice

When you try to measure people's performance, you have to take into account how they are going to react. Inevitably, people will figure out how to get the number you want at the expense of what you are not measuring, including things you can't measure, such as morale and customer goodwill.
— Joel Spolsky (summarizing Robert Austin) general | advice

I think that a 35-hour workweek should be the goal for any person who wants a decent life and that by the time you're 50 you should be carving that down to around 30. Shoot me but it's true.
— Garrison Keillor working | advice

I mess up all the time. It's how I know things.
— Carol Fisher Saller general | advice

But though I am much against too much spending, yet I do think it best to enjoy some degree of pleasure, now that we have health, money and opportunity, rather than leave pleasures to old age or poverty, when we cannot have them so properly.
— Samuel Pepys general | advice

Learning from experience is the worst possible way to learn something. Learning from experience is one up from remembering. That's not great. The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you: "Don't go in that swamp. There are alligators in there."
— Clay Shirky general | advice

If it's possible to do something, then it's possible to do something wrong.
— Raymond Chen computers | advice

It's okay to dislike something with your mouth closed.
— Wendy Barron general | advice

Be well. Do good work. Keep in touch.
— Garrison Keillor general | advice

Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.
— Shakespeare general | advice

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
— Gospel of Thomas general | advice | religion

People should stop listening for the performance they think they want to hear and listen to what the musician is doing that's unique.
— "OrchestrationOnline" music | advice